So. The title may not mean much, but it actually does. This is a really long post. Feel free to read on. It’s mostly about money and flatting and uni and my last two years. Hmmm. It is actually slightly insightful haha if anyone needs to know how to live off 20 cents, they should read this

Allie xoxox

 

Today: I have been up since 9.14 am. Woke up without a headache, which isnt surprising as I hardly ever have headaches after nights like that. haha. It was an incredibly awesome night. (As I write this I feel kind of guilty for not writing in my actual journal) But it was…an incredible night.

I should write music more often like that. I’m sure all of the greats were either drunk or on something while making their beautiful music. I don’t regret last night. It was fun. and I was happy. with my friends. and its ok.

I do however, regret that I have been up since 9.14am, tired yes, but no headache,so there was no reason as to why I didn’t just get straight in with my massive workload I have got piled up in the last 4 days of the first semester back to Uni.

I’ve wasted an entire morning which would have been an amazing reading time. Quiet and very useful. Instead. I updated my computer, facebooked, and played facebook games, looked at friends photos, and figured out how to use media player 11. And luckily it somehow turned purple. It must have anticipated my love for the beautiful colour as it made me quite surprised, and generally delighted. haha.

I want to get on to my massive load of uni work, and explain whats happened in the last week, though it’s not that interesting… just honours changing to a prospective masters degree scare. haha.

But. The reason I got onto this, was because I was thinking of money.

I looked at my pitiful account. 21 cents available. was thinking I should put 20 cents into my savings account, making my savings account have the grand total of 20 cents. I didn’t because that would have been stupid. (though I would have saved 20 cents!) I looked at my transaction history.

Of the 120 bucks work gave me last week, I managed to buy 40 dollars of food exactly. Some gorgeous new boots, also 40 dollars. a new jumper for 10 dollars. and I put ten dollars petrol into my car Molly.

I think it was pretty damn good spending if I do say so myself.

I had previously had 2.71 in my account. of that, I used 2.50 to buy a hotdog and a dollars chips and Wing Hing. Yum!

So that is how I have 21 cents in my account.

Mum gave me some money so that I could pay for last weeks rent…so that when Studylink actually get off of their bums and pay me next week. I should be getting about 3 weeks/possibly 4 weeks allowance… which, I’m kind of looking forward…seeing as how I’m such a good scrounger now and tight with my budget, squeezing in my last cent to make everything work.

Now. This is the point of the whole post today. Because, while looking at my transaction history of the past few days when I havent had any money really to spare on randomly stupid but usually good impulse buys at the time, I had a realization.

One: I can have a really good night on a few glasses of cosmo’s. and a mulled wine at the beginning of the night.

Two: and most important really. I shouldnt feel like the last 2 and a bit years were a waste of my life. They weren’t. I felt and gave love. All my love. and thats ok. The same advice I gave my friend, I am now taking for myself.

Now that you have loved someone so fully, you are and can now be more aware of how much love you have to give. You know how much you can love someone, and know what to expect out of someone, and what you don’t want. It’s a good thing. Something to be happy about, not something to be angry about.

Also. I know now from these last two years what it’s like to not have any money. I’ve lived on 20 cents weeks on end sometimes, but somehow we made do. Our friends were amazing, and supportive. By not having money, I see exactly how to continue my life, I know what I like, and what I dont like. I know how to cook things out of the randomest kind of food. I really do think I’m good at this whole flatting thing. I’m learning not to be so freaked out when I meet ‘randoms’, people I dont know, and usually don’t bother to meet and introduce myself.

I’m slowly letting down some boundaries. I’m careful of what I say to people. and am happy that my friends understand not to say things or make fun of certain things in front of me. It’s taken them a long time too I guess, to come to terms with what happened. But I can only be thankful of them..for being the amazing people that they are.

I’m thankful to a point, of these past two years. I’ve learnt much. Seriously. If anything, these past two years have been a huge learning curve.

I only hope that this next year coming provides happiness, understanding, maybe love, and just general friendship and care from my friends and family.

I shouldn’t be so angry anymore. There’s no need to let it eat me up as I keep telling my nine and nearly nine year old sisters. I know that they have done a huge bad wrong thing. Theres no need to become that. No need to become that bad thing. I’m better than that. I have strength, as can be seen just by being alive and still going strong after these past two years.

I’m a strong Kiwi girl. I will look those in the eyes who try and judge me. They have nothing to judge. I have done nothing wrong. And I refuse to be the victim any longer.

I will be strong, live the life I want to lead, and above everything else, be happy. Just happy. Thats all I ever wanted. And damnit, I’m doing a whole lot better by myself.

I’m in my honours programme. I owe WSU and mum a little bit of money, and nana of course, and owe amber those pastries. And steven..for being so awesome a while back.

I’ve been cooking dinner for my friends the past few nights, and have loved it. I know not to live with friends, because it ultimately breaks them.

I love living in this house, and hopefully everything can be resolved this monday coming. I get paid on tuesday. I cant wait yay! can fix my rent up, and sort everything out.

Yup. And this blog is awesome.

And you are all beautiful and awesome and funny and great.

heres to life, my planning for my OE, and plans for my honours and masters. yay! and teaching in Europe. sounds like a plan…like the only plan! haha

Allie xoxooxoxoxoxoxooxx