Grossness and Making Music

Does every great musician have a favourite place where they make up their lyrics? I know I do. For Sure. It’s always been the same place, ever since I was little. It comes at any given moment, these lyrical thoughts.. but, usually when I’m going for a walk, or in the shower… well. whenever im in the bathroo to be honest. my best music…well. to be completely honest… comes from when I have nothing else to do but sit and think and … usually make awesome lyrics. sometimes they aren’t that great, but they are definately interesting. :)

At the moment, I’m getting back into my guitar… and playing with the capo steven gave me is really cool now that I know what I’m doing.

I woke up this morning, not in my own bed, well, it used to be mine until I moved out. It’s now my little sister’s. Anyway. I woke up, and heard Mum going nuts bout the cat. Yeah. well. it was pretty gross. fair enough, stupid cat.

I woke up again, later…to a phone call from the Wananga asking me about enrolling for August.. and then…tried to remember my dream. It made me think alot.. I really don’t want to think about them anymore. They’ve done the most horrible terrible thing to me. The one thing I never thought they would do. He’d already hurt me so much and I never thought that he would stoop as low as that. So. No more thinking about it. Because it only brings me more pain. and its sad. truly. you’d never expect your best friend of four years to do that. hmm
anyway. I’m moving ahead. Moving on. Pushing through all this junk and moving on with my life. There’s lots of new doors already opening up for me. and it makes me happy. So for now. I’m going to go see my Gran…and talk to her. :) Ciao! :)hehe

Why should I keep it a secret?

Coz its not a secret. I live with it everyday… Force myself to deal with it coz I cant keep trying to run away from it.
It’s like I’m still trying to protect him. He shouldn’t be protected from that.

Sure. At some point I need to get past it, and realize that its in the past, but…I cant stop thinking… When its wrong its wrong…no matter how drunk you are. You just dont do that.
hmmm. something to ponder at least :)

So I was thinking…

Who am I to say whats wrong or whats right. all I know is what I do myself, and am the only judge  for what I do and who I am. If you dont like it? Well. Dont copy me. Dont use me as an example and dont pretend you think I’m awesome.

This is something I said on Facebook a little while ago. Thought I’d add it here too.

just had a very interesting realization. and. u know what? doesnt matter how drunk i get…i still know what im doing and what is right and what is wrong. theres no reason to try drink myself off/under the table to see if the moral line blurs…coz i know it wont. theres some things you just dont do if you have morals…u know? like seriously. glad i realized that. a very good step.

Hello World!

Hello World!

My name is Allie. So far in my life, I’ve let other people run it…or at the very least tell me what I should be doing.

This is part of my stand to take back my life. I want to be in control again. I’m relearning so many new things about myself and whats incredibly cool is that I like the person I am right now. I havent done anything wrong and I’m growing as a person, and accepting and acknowledging who I was, and whats affected me in the past.

This is a blog for my realizations as I move on with my life, learn who I am and who I want to be.

Love always,

Allie